Hello Beautiful/Handsome.
Since I switched over to this being a lifestyle blog I figured I'd share with you my current life situation. So quick life update I have recently gone through a career change so I have found myself back in school. With that being said, some of my unhealthy ways have found me. Eating late, not getting adequate rest (as I type this at 5:15am when I have an 8:30am gym date.. Hehe), not working out... You get the jist. I had found myself 15 pounds over weight and none of my clothes fitting. It was so hard for me to get my life together for some reason. I can hear Tamar right now telling me to get my life. So soon as the semester was over I knew something had to give.
May rolls around and I had so many body and life goals I had to get that planet fitness in my life. My first step to getting healthy was to be honest with myself and get those measurements. But once I got them I promised to not micromanage them or obsess over that scale. In the past that scale and those numbers on that tape measure dictated how I seen my self worth. I wasn't going to have that happen again.
My goal was to not only lose weight it was to gain confidence. It was to love this chunky juicy body that I was currently in while trying to get to the one I wanted. That by far was/is the hardest part. A lesser known fact about me is that I have some bad body dismorhphia. For some reason when I look in the mirror no matter what size I am I see what I perceive as a huge morbidly obese person. I don't know why but I just don't like what I see most days. Maybe you can understand me now when I said loving this body that I currently have was so hard for me.
Prayer and patiences is the name of the game.
You have no idea how many times I said, "Lord please make it so that cake, cookies, and junk food are nasty to me." You need God in every aspect of your life even your weight lose journey. He however didn't grant that they were nasty for me but I can certainly tell you that I don't eat them as much and they don't taste as great as they used to. Okay child I'm lying.... but what I will say is they don't satisfy me like they used to. So shout out to Jesus for the break through.
Patience is an obvious factor because if you don't have patience you're going to give up and never see results. Slowly but surely you're going to see your hard work paying off. Patience also coincides with consistency. Something that I quite frankly lack. Got to be honest with yourself too. Sometimes we just have to know who we are and be who we are so we can grow and evolve. People who don't know who they are tend to be stuck in their circumstances because they are either in denial, don't know how to get out, or they just plan don't realize it. Self love should be your first love, and through loving yourself you get to know yourself. It's the same as dating and getting to know someone. Instead you're getting to know the most important person on earth, yourself. Self realization will happen when you start paying attention to feelings you get when you do things or eat things. It even happens when you stop and think about why you acted a certain way in a situation. Digging into that subconscious finding your triggers will help you learn to evolve and be who you want to be, and go where you want to go. Honey I'm saving you some money, therapist who?!?! (Just kidding I'm not a medical professional and seeking help is awesome if you can't do it alone. I've seen a therapist before. Shouts out to Chrissy, that's the homie.)
Hopefully I didn't lose you, I know some of y'all are like, "Lai what are you talking about what's this got to do with weight lost?" It's got everything to do with weight loss. Most of this struggle is mental, if your mind isn't right you'll be easily broken. That's with anything you do, not just weight loss. With my semi lack of consistency and focus at times it's hard for me to push myself but it's possible. I'm kinda a loser so if I can do it you can do it.
So some stats about my body before I get into results:
1. I gain muscle super fast so my scale is always misleading. I was really thin (26" waist) with barely any fat on my body and weighed 150lbs with a small body type and only being 5' 3 1/2"
2. My stomach will look the same but feel so different. The muscle inside will build up super hard but that gushy fat will stay there.
3. I only work out between 2-4 days a week. Some days or every couple of weeks I just do cardio because of point
So from my starting measurements on May 11 to August 16th measurements here are my lost inches
Bust: Down 1 1/2 inches
Waist: Down 6 inches (YYYAASSS)
Hips: None (praise God for the booty conservation)
Weight: down 2lbs (after I stopped working out as regularly)
I just recently went to the beach and was sooo nervous and filled with anxiety about going to the beach with my family and friends. Feeling naked, vulnerable, and exposed I took that leap of faith and I did it. I took of my clothes off and exposed my body in a bathing suit I though would never see the light of day. Soon as I took it off I looked around and to my surprise no one was looking or pointing and discreetly chuckling. No one was gawking or secretly taking pictures of the "fat girl" on the beach. No one gave a damn. I soon realized that I was the only one that cared about how I looked. I finally realized that it is true I'm my own biggest critic. Once I realized that I too didn't give a damn. Me my gushy stomach, my cellulite thighs, my rolls, and my stretch marks had a great time at the beach. I was truly feeling like my alter ego aka SummaTimeFine22 (which is also my Snapchat name, follow me) ! Though I still have my issues with my body. I'm still working on it but I'm choosing to stay on top of it and love myself through it all.
In order to show personal growth here are pictures of me at the beach with and without my good angles. I'm okay with showing them bc I know where I came from and I know where I'm going.
Feel free to share your story with me or let me know if me sharing helped you in any way by emailing heyasklai@gmail.com. I also answer questions or even give some advice you may have on this email.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable,
XOXO,
LaiDeshay
